Justifications for being unreasonable

Am I living in bewilderment? it's crazy how 'feelings' can make or break u. My mood swing's really bad today. And I thought I had mastered the ability to control. What went wrong? As I try to analyse, I realised that I'm not even sure if those premises were indeed the reasons or am I just living true to the way women are and trying to justify those 'feelings' and behavior? Something I dont know, reallu.

I went for the medical checkup as requested by JAL this morning. Besides the agonising wait, which is considered alot less agonising since one wouldnt know the results on the same day, unlike those emotionally tiring interviews that I've gone through for both JAL and SIA ; the rush at the end as lunch hour approaches is irritating. Clinic was at Raffles Place but the lot of us had to speed down to Lucky Plaza for a Hearing test and those who made it proceeded to Republic Plaza across the road from the clinic for an X-ray. I could only made it to Lucky Plaza. Anyway, it was found from my urine test that it seems there were traces of blood in it. Not a good sign. On the bright side of it, the nurses told me perhaps it was the lack of water in my body. Perhaps, perhaps. I'll know that on Tuesday. If I fail the urine test on Tuesday again, there goes my flying career. Hello Audit, Bye Bye Flying.

I think the other reason I'm pissed about is having to adjust my lifestyle once again now that I'm attached. not that i'm complaining coz it's something I expected once I'm attached. guessed I didnt expect it to happen so fast when I was enjoying all that singlehood. yet, I know i've met the man who's worth it. It's also this thing about the current situation that now is the time for me to bum around before everything gets started with Deloitte and all. May 18th is the day when Integration Exercise. I have less than a month to bum. Bumming is not doing nothing. dont get me wrong. it's about doing the things I've always wanted to do. and that includes spending more time with my family and all. time for myself. we'll figure out something k. It's funny how Mr B is so similar coz without having to say it, we both understand what we are going through. sometimes , it feels as if we have been dating for a loong time when in actual fact, it has only been 4 weeks. We know we dont have to meet everyday and we obviously do not have that obligation set from either party but yet, it's what we do and we both get frustrated with the same issue. It's like an obligation but not obligation. argh. cant explain. It's almost as if I can feel the inspiration to describe evaporating into the hot, humid weather of late.

speaking of which, have u guys been doing this : shower...hanging somewhere at home doing some random stuff just to find yourself perspiring after 20mins or so...then off to shower again later. I've counted. Been showering like at least 3 times in a day? oh yes! the weather is another contributing factor to my mood swing. argh.

right now, i'm just comfortably sitting here in Mr B's house................. blogging.