recently I met up with him for dinner. i shdnt have but i know i wanted to as well. i was trembling when we met up. inside me i was scared. i put on a brave front.

i admit i wavered after that meeting. Initially i was getting back on my feet, feeling stronger each day. no longer crying. But after we met up, he tells me things like he is not trying to get back, he is sorry..wants to change for himself and not anyone else and that he is taking my advice.

So i thought emotionally i was ready. obviously wrong. thought too highly of myself.

so now back to more confused by his pack of lies again. I cant really explain what is going on inside me. I know what is the smart decision and right thing to do but yet I allow myself to be sucked into his lies.

of course things came to this stage where he cant deny all but yet tries to cover here and there wherever possible. Just that I am so troubled by it when I cant see through what he is trying to do. I offered him a chance to get back. He didnt though. So, why want to tell me he is changing and all. Tells me dun play games. He is the one trying to play games isnt it? I dun understand.
Help....

yeah. To myself: This is the guy who cheated me right from the start..stringing me along with a pack of lies and now, what is he up to? Still lies. Why doesnt he just ends it when being found out? He doesnt want to burn any possible bridge for the future. But for now, just LIES. I certainly dont deserve a guy like him. Is quite obvious what we both want in life is different. We have different values. He is too extreme.