HOME!!!! At last!!!

I am finally home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it sure feels good to be home..to hear Singlish again..to speak proper English again..to see my parents and to hear my sister's voice again!!!

lotsa of pictures to upload but it's a bit too much to have it here one by one...hmm..let me figure out how to place all together okies?

but first of all, i'm soooo happy that i am home!!! and so tmd tired......

still stuck in japan....

argh...i am still here...

its 27th nov...i am scheduled to depart at 1120am japan time...but now..my flight has been delayed to depart (hopefully) at 5pm. its 6hours and 55mins flight time and that means that i will only be back home at midnight or later. sob sob...

im dying to be back home!

there is so much to say and so much thoughts and emotions that i have right now. i can really feel the emotional struggles that i am going through. i wonder if anyone can understand that.

all of us has already received our flight schedule for the month of nov. luckily i will still be in singapore for my birthday..heh..

my first maiden flight would be heading to los angeles on the first week of nov. the rest of the month, would be to osaka and to new york. oh well, narita will always be my 2nd home since we all have to stopover for a night or 2 and then proceed on to our long haul flight from there. hmm..im not complaining about my schedule at all coz my good friend has to start right on sunday for her maiden flight. phew for me!

then again, my colleagues on-the-job training which we term as ojt have their buddies with them on board the same aircraft..for me, unluckily, i will be entirely on my own...sob sob..

honestly, right now, i am tired...finally, i have finished the entire training!!!! man, training for japanese companies is damn tough..it is almost like military training if one can imagine.

speaking of how i am feeling right now, sigh. lotsa.

hard to summarise. perhaps, its a combination of pissed and not to feel pissed at the same time.

anyway, i pray for a safe journey home. -)

2 more weeks and ill have to go back....

everyday, i pray to be emotionally strong..for me to not be easily distracted..

i pray for me to forget my past..to not be reminded even though i am in a new environment altogether..to not think of even buying Mark a gift to each destination that i go..

i pray not just to look strong on the outside but to really be as hard hearted as one can be..

ｇａｍｅ ｏｆ ｍｉｎｄ ａｎｄ ｈｅａｒｔ

ｉ　ｗａｓ　ｍｉｓｓｉｎｇ　ｏｎｅ　ｏｆ　ｍｙ　ｇａｌ　ｆｒｉｅｎｄｓ　ｗｈｅｎ　ｉ　ｗｅｎｔ　ｔｏ　ｒｅａｄ　ｈｅｒ　ｂｌｏｇ　ａｎｄ　ｉｔ　ｗａｓ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｏｎｅ　ｅｎｔｒｙ　ｔｈａｔ　ｉ　ｒｅａｌｉｓｅｄ　ｉ　ａｍ　ａｃｔｕａｌｌｙ　that　ｂｕｔ　i　ｈａｖｅ　ａｌｗａｙｓ　refuse　to　admit．that　is，

“It's now officially a game of mind vs heart. I've had too many such experiences and too often, the latter wins the game. I'm weak emotionally & i'm not keen on hiding this. I suck at playing mind games coz my heart is wayyy too strong to kick my mind's ass.
Told myself to strategize and work smart for this time. The more i analyse the situation and think about how things are, the more i wanna pull away. I'll die a spinster if i actually listens to my mind all the time really.”

i　ｔｈｉｎｋ　ａｌｏｔ　ｏｆ　ｔｉｍｅｓ，when　i　meet　someone，i　ｈｏｐｅ　it　be　right　ｓｏ　that　i　dont　have　to　ｓｔｒａｔｅｇｉｚｅ　at　all．Maybe，in　this　case，i　ｗａｓ　hoping　ｉｔ　will　be　true．ｔｈｅｎ　again，its　obvious　ｇｉｖｅｎ　the　ｃｉｒｃｕｍｓｔａｎｃｅｓ　that　i　should　ｔｈｉｎｋ　twice　ｏｒ　ｅｖｅｎ　ｔｈｒｉｃｅ！

さびしいですね。

greetings from Japan!

finally i`m writing from japan. the weather is getting cold here and for the first time i‘m using a
heater!

lotsa things feels different when the weather is cold. eating ice cream，smoking. everything
feels different.

kinda mixed feelings about going back to singapore in another 2～3 weeks. i‘m starting to get used to staying here and the transport system. it takes quite a while to figure out the use of the train system.

on a more interesting note, i met a Japanese　ｇｕｙ　here．He　is　quite　a　nice　guy．a　ｐｉｔｙ　ｊａｐａｎ　is　huge．He　left　about　２　days　ago．Japanese　ｇｕｙｓ．．it　ｍａｋｅｓ　me　ｃｏｎｆｕｓｅｄ　ａｂｏｕｔ　the　ｗａｙ　they　date．They　can　ｂｅ　ｓｕｃｈ　encouraging　and　caring　ｐｅｒｓｏｎ　yet，when　distance　ｍａｋｅｓ　the　difference，i　wonder　if　everything　said　was
true　at　all．Maybe　it　ｗａｓ　just　me　that　i　wasnt　able　to　read　ｂｅｔｗｅｅｎ　the　lines．Or　ｍａｙｂｅ　i　didnt　want　to．

anyway，i　have　decided　to　check　my　mails　ｆｒｏｍ　ｎｏｗ．ｓｏ，ｆｒｉｅｎｄｓ，ｙｏｕ　ｇｕｙｓ　ｃａｎ　ｄｒｏｐ　ｍｅ　ａ　ｍａｉｌ．＝）