Complex creature is back

It's about time I revisited my own writings.

I sit here, in front of the computer, staring at the screen and down to my keyboard, wondering what I can write about. Honestly, I have stopped writing.

First, there is the code of conduct to follow in my profession.

Second, I have went back to the old ways of having all the thoughts in my mind, sorting them out in my mind and even sharing with my loved ones, thereby thinking and straightening things out.

So, there really isnt a need for me to blog anymore.

Then again, I realised I missed typing out my thoughts.

Through these months, I've enriched my own life with lots of experiences. They all came from my profession. Along the way, I've been through from being confused, angry to accepting, adopting an even more positive mindset and even gained new insights.

I've decided to stick to this job for as long as I can. I dont think I'll make plans to leave. As much as there isnt much "technical difficulties" to this job, (The beginning is difficult but once you get the hang of it, this job is easy) I must say, this job is experiencing LIFE itself. I thought about going back to audit many times especially when trivial issues come up and people make a fuss out of it and especially those times where I meet people who simply do not use their brains at all(ok, humbility is my greatest asset) I just wished I am in a workplace with more important issues to worry about. It is then that I realised, by doing so, I am simply just escaping from LIFE. I mean, there are all kinds of people everywhere. Who says audit do not have stupid people? Ha. If I were to simply move to another line, I would still meet people like that because it is in my fate to deal with people of this nature.

In fact, by meeting people of this nature, I learnt something. I learnt not to be like them. I learnt to be more aware of myself and I begun to understand myself even further. I learnt how to deal with my own emotions and how to respond to people.

In my own personal relationships, things are pretty happy between me and sista. We communicate and we understand each other so we make efforts to interact with each other on a close level. As for my Dear, I miss him alot. In the past, I believed that physical presence makes a whole lot of difference in a romance and I still believe in that now. In another 2 months, it would have been 4 months since we have not seen each other. However, it is amazing that our individual personal growth seems to be on the increase simultaneously. It makes our relationship grow too. Things that I have been overcoming, he is also experiencing similiar situations. We both promised to do our very best in our own fields. Of course, we have our little fights as well since it is only natural because emotions make us humans. However, what is most important is that we learn and grow.

In reading S.U.M.O(Shut Up, Move On) I realised that I have not been given Hippo Time when I needed it in communicating with Dear and that leads to our little fights. Being the strong and independent me, guys always think that I can handle everything. They are half right. What they do not realise that it is Hippo Time that I needed and not answers to the problems I have on hand.

It is said that it is alright to make mistakes but we should not be making repeated mistakes as it simply means that we have not learn from those mistakes. In the past, I have always vent my anger on my parnter when I feel frustrated, now, it seems that although it is not as bad as in the past but it still happens. My Inner Critic ask me what is wrong with me? Why have I not learn? It is at this point that S.U.M.O provides good advice which I apply and perhaps that is the answer to how I can learn to let go on trivial issues and that is, On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate this issue? It is then that I know how to respond to that issue knowing that it is not that important. But I realised that some issues just need more Hippo Time and at that moment, I may feel that that issue is an 8 and after some days of Hippo Time, that issue becomes a 2. Yes, it is complex. Well, this is human being. They are all complex creatures.

So much for S.U.M.O. Need to get going. Just got back from Beijing and now, I'm off to Nagoya! Ahem, more exciting places coming up! heh.