dAWN YAng! I just read her blog...Hmmm... =( life isnt fair!!!! She's soooo god-damn pretty and hot!!!

Yes..fake? Hmm..but still.... =( she's blessed with the right assets yeah? Preetty!!! and soooo hhhhhhot...sigh..You (up there!) not fair leh! LOL

Oh my god! I found out sooooo much more about the disgusting species of man! I'm ever more disgusted by the fact that I used to .......well...eeerrrkkkkkkk!!! I am even disgusted by the thought of it!!!!

Sheesh...damn right disgusting and so not worth of anyone's respect! Damn fucking loser!

Oh god! What happened to your eyes Ms Chow? God....

Ok, let me recover from all that...

*phew*

Alright, I am no saint to comment or judge others but at least I am never and will not be a infidel bastard / bitch!! God! Honestly, with the guys that I have seen around, be it friends of friends', trust should not be given! Never ever! Honestly, I dont even know how it works even for those who are guilty until unless proven otherwise..cause' it's really not worth given a chance. I have lost complete and I mean complete! faith in guys totally..

I thought my dad's generation is bad, given my family's history..but hey! My generation is worst! Or my goodnesss!!!! I am sooooo damn disgusted!

I dun mean to generalise but even good guys whom I do know them personally, are guilty!

I...eeerkksss...am too disgusted to even rationalise further.

Koizumi and his Yasukuni shrine visits

Oops..he did it again..

I have not taken a stand on how I view on the above issue. There are voices (yes, even my dad's) swimming around me and their differing views and respective logic behind those but I have yet to accept any within myself.

For one, I think perhaps, I still give Koizumi the benefit of the doubt on his annual visits to Yasukuni shrine where all the war criminals such as General Hideki Tojo and the others who perished in the war were enshrined. He says he visits to pay tribute and pray for peace.

As much as I also "suffer" under the hands of some Japanese, having a balanced view is very important. And I think the whole at large is being very harsh towards the Japanese. The Japanese has a very unique culture which even for me, one who works for a traditional Japanese firm isnt able to totally understand that. It takes alot of time to understand and be able to place a judgement on it.

While it may seem as though Koizumi's visit to Yasukuni shrine is paying tribute to Japan's past militarism, I think one has to take a step back and try to really understand what it is and what it means to the Japanese. Of course, I am not saying that it is ok for them to be proud of their past militarism, but all I am saying that we should not be rash and judge them as bad immediately without considering their culture.

Any inputs anyone?

Japan and its past

Like I mentioned, this trip I brought alot of mixed feelings about Japan and the Japanese.

When I look back upon history and those famous figures that I have read about, I tried to reconcile that with the mentor I respect and hold so dearly in my heart together with the teachings of Nichiren.

There's an article on The Tojo legacy, Yuko Tojo, the granddaughter of General Hideki Tojo, who led Japan to disastrous defeat in World War II. General Hideki Tojo was executed as Japan's top war criminal in 1948. Yuko idolises her grandfather. As I read about her and her views on her grandfather's actions and the people who fought for the war, I can empathise but yet I do feel that what Nichiren taught is so relevant and true in today's age.

Yuko has said "It's not a question of respecting my grandfather. It's about learning to respect someone who loved and fought for his country. Not just Tojo, but also the 2.6 million soldiers who died. We should respect those who fought for their country and that's what should be taught in schools."

--- Personally, in respect to the barbaric war that took away millions of lives, not only pertaining to that of the Japanese, but also lives of different nationals, I totally despise and am upset at how one who was responsible, even though not solely responsible for such destructive acts can be totally unrepentant and still managed to come up with acceptable excuses for their actions. Yet, on the other hand, as I try to understand the situation at that time and her point of view, I can empathise with her and accept her explanation readily.

However, when I try to reconcile with the sound philosophy taught by Sensei, I am consoled that even though Sensei is a Japanese, he does not allow himself to be swayed by emotions that delude himself from what is right, what is wrong.

Sensei Ikeda of Soka Gakkai International once said that in today's age, one should uphold a sound life philosophy as what is right or wrong can no longer be easily differentiated. He goes on to say that "Nothing is more barbaric than war. Our planet earth is resplendent with timeless beauty of nature and hums with abundant life force. Every day, at each moment, people strive purposely towards tomorrow, savouring both the joys and sorrows of life. Anything that brings devastation and misery upon these noble, ordinary citizens is to be abhorred. I am unequivocally against all wars. War destroys. Nothing is more barbaric, or causes more human suffering."

Having that and having going through all that from my trip, I now understand that importance of our Soka organisation in society.

Too much Bloody Mary..

Reading Ron's blog reminded me of last night.

It's a usual thing for me to be out on most nights whenever I am back in S'pore - drinking Bloody Mary.

I was out with Angel and Karen and we wanted to check out The Balcony at Heeren's. Before that, we had a drink, ok, it was 2 Bloody Mary for me, heh..at Alley Bar. We had a freaking good gals' night out. I like to chill, honestly, chill.

Heading to The Balcony isnt a good idea. The Balcony is bad. Oh yes, as what Ashley at Alley Bar would say "traitor" and "hope the balcony doesnt collapse.." LOL. It was terrible service for an opening night. The crowd is..oh wait, there isnt a crowd at all! LOL.

Anyway,the next place to head down was to Bala's. Being 3 single gals, as fickle as we can be, we took such a looong time to decide whether to sit inside or out. Finally, I insisted I want it in to listen to Ghaz singing. Oh yup, he was singing there last night. And, before we could decide on our drinks, this Malaysian guy came up and chat us up, offering to buy us drinks.

Hey, if a guy wants to, I dont see why not. Call me a slut for drinks. I am broke! LOL. but yes, just make sure he stops at that. Anyway, we insisted that it's alright and we can afford our own drinks, for god's sake. (yeah, he aint cute at all)

So, this went on and on and he refuses to leave until he buys us drinks. Ha. Wait till the drinks got there and he was still at our table. Damn.

It just gets better. His other friend came by and said hi. Apparently, that guy is the one who pays for all the drinks. Lame. But hey, I dont mind free drinks. Just cut the crap and move on.
Oh..by the way, Bala's Bloody Mary is disgusting! The only good ones are at Alley, Harry's and No. 5...

Thank god Bala closes quite early. We get to have a quiet night on our way back!

Hmm..you know what, from this, I dont see why I should feel as if I own guys who wants to pay for drinks, anything. I refuse once, twice, thrice and if you still insist you wanna pay, ok, go head! My pleasure manz! I get to save and jolly pay for my own cabfare later! LOL.

Heh..so babe, just let those losers pay for you la! heh..

Los Angeles..

Just got back from Los Angeles 2 days ago..

It was quite a smooth flight for my 1st pattern. Although it was a full flight, I had the good fortune and wisdom to know how to handle my seniors..and passengers..

After this trip, I cant say I enjoy my job. On the contrary, I brought back alot of disappointments and different thoughts with me, many of which are confidential and I cant share them online.

I didnt take any pictures with me coz I practically slept through my stay in LA!!! heh...oh well, you guys know me..and how much sleep I need yeah? But you can say, my sleeping cycle is fucked.

Anything that makes me sleep is most welcomed. Sleeping pill..flu medicine..you name it..

You know, it's times of adversity and great sufferings that we appreciate the good times that one used to have. This trip, I was flying alone with no buddies at all. I really miss my pals..Baoxin, Noelle, Eileen, Serene and Pui Sang..I miss all of you sooo much..

I think one of the reasons is because we all understand what we are going through and how we can empathy with each other.

In this line, one has to go through it to understand our difficulties. I cant explain it in a few words.

I have always only cried over family, relationships but never about work. But this job, I think I have cried a dozen times. Damn..it better be worth it.

A quiet birthday

If there's anything, I probably have felt that I have grown up...finally..

Birthdays used to be full of surprises, full of zest..full of excitement..full of arrogance that it is my special day and the expectations of special treatment from whoever. You feel that special aura.

This year's birthday is my first as a single. And it is also the first that I've gotten my first pay check. My real first pay check. Never mind about those part time jobs. not counted.

I spent that day quietly with best friend and a few other friends drinking..I had the best bloody mary ever since i've stepped into Sin..heh.. and a good game of pool!

The actual day was spent with my folks and my best friend. And then there was my realization that I've grown up..I spent a bomb on dinner with my folks!! I have always wanted to go Hot Stones at Clark Quay when I get my first pay check..and so I did.

Photos!!!!

Hey folks..

okok..i have finally uploaded some pictures...phew..it took me like almost a day yeah..and i am still not done...damn...

so, click on Photos I have this link on the side of my blog..so update urself anytime for new pictures k? =p

So far, I think my pictures maybe only halfway...yeah..it's 1+1/2 months of pictures...